I read a quote today that basically said to ask yourself this question, "Did your energy, words, and presence communicate what you wanted to the world today?" I want to be able to say yes to that everyday. If there are situations where I don't think that will happen, then I owe it to myself to withdraw from them. I don't owe anyone an explanation. I owe it to myself to do what I think is best for my soul.
I think there are too many people who create drama, stir the pot, or attempt to be bigger than they are. I simply choose not to be one of them. When I feel negative vibes, I remove myself from them.
As I get older I seem to gain more insight into myself and who I am. And, I'm really happy with me overall. I am growing and evolving everyday. When I go to bed at night, I'm at peace with myself. That is a tremendous feeling and one that I didn't always have. I used to worry a lot, get involved in stuff that really wasn't my stuff, and allowed myself to get sucked into trivial and insignificant issues. Of course, they didn't seem trivial and insignificant at the time. They seemed huge and world-worthy.
My, how I have learned. I let a lot more go these days. There are still days that I let things get to me, but not nearly as much. It doesn't really matter in the big picture. I listen more. People talk to me. I don't know what it is, but I know more than most realize. I don't say anything. It's okay to talk to me. I'm not going to throw anyone under the bus even though I could and would like to. I choose not to, because I know how karma works.
I wish I didn't wear my emotions on my sleeve though. I wish my appearance was more emotionless, but it isn't. Even though I'm not saying anything, my expressions say otherwise. That bothers me. It's not that I want to hide. It's just that I don't want others to know that their words hurt and that their complaining is messing with my universe. Their words don't matter much, but sometimes they matter more than I want them to. That's frustrating. It shows me, though, that I still have much to learn about myself and the world I'm in.
It's my choice. I can choose to let the words wound me, or I can choose to let them go and whatever wounds have been incurred can begin to heal. It does me no good to hold on to them, to let them reside in my head. When I release them, I exhale the negativity out of my system. It's cleansing. It's my choice.
I'm a lover of life, an eternal optimist, and I have an intense desire to add value through simple living and positive vibes.