I have an unhealthy relationship with money. I loathe being beholden to it to pay off debts, I hate having to be super careful about spending it, and I obsess over it daily.
I started reading the book, You are a Badass at Making Money, by Jen Sincero. One of her suggestions is to write a letter to money to get a better feel for what our relationship with it is like and how to change the negative beliefs, thoughts, and feelings we have toward it. Because this is definitely way out of my comfort zone, I thought if I wrote my letter and put it out in the universe to see, then maybe others would take that leap as well. So, here we go:
I don't know where to start with you. You've basically been a thorn in my side my entire life, and even though I would love to blame you for that I can't. The way I've treated you has been my fault. I haven't taken care of you the way I should have and now I'm paying for it. I suppose what I feel is embarrassment. I'm 49-years-old, and I still don't feel as if I do a very good job with you.
I've allowed you to build up debt and have not done a very good job of paying it off so that I can have a fresh start with you. I've done the minimum payments and haven't made a dent. I get frustrated and down and so I spend more of you to try to make myself feel better. All I end up with is more regret and frustration.
I think what it boils down to is that I don't think I deserve you, and I look at you in a negative way instead of a positive way. I'm working on changing that. I started a countdown to freedom which will be May 2018. In just over a year, I will be free from a huge loan, paying my mom back, and my credit card will be paid off. I know that any type of debt is not good debt, but the rest are manageable in the big picture.
I am grateful for the money I do earn and I see myself with even more earning potential, but I need to start with baby steps and this is a good beginning. Thanks for listening, Money. I look forward to changing my relationship with you!
I know writing a letter is just a start and I'm making plans to put those thoughts into action. I've put together an plan to paying off the debt I described above in one year. I've already paid off one smaller loan and for half our taxes from last year. Just having those two off my plate is a step in the right direction, and I will continue to feel better about money as I change my beliefs, thoughts, feelings, and actions.
Are you ready to write your letter?
I'm a lover of life, an eternal optimist, and I have an intense desire to add value through simple living and positive vibes.